Wednesday, November 26, 2008

यूँ ही कभी कभी...

दर्द की इन आहों में इक चेहरा तलाशते हैं..
रेत की इन राहों में बस उसको तराशते हैं..

यूँ तो दर्द है इतना की ग़म-ऐ-जाम पिए जाते हैं..
बेशर्म सी ये ज़िन्दगी जो अब भी जिए जाते हैं..

कभी मुड के देखा तो कुछ राहगीर नज़र आते हैं..
जाने पहचाने से लगते हैं पर साफ़ मुकर जाते हैं..

आखरी है इल्तजा और आखरी ख्वाहिश यही..
अब अगर मिलना भी तो नज़रें कभी मिलाना नहीं..

Saturday, November 01, 2008

The Breakup

The Breakup

Meg's story

"It was like being with a kid, handling him...with caution", she said. "He was so stuck up with his own thoughts...his own his own world". Meg had never preferred to talk about her relationship but it seemed like today she wanted to let it all out. She seemed exhausted. It had been a now-on and now-off kind of relationship. They never proclaimed, not even to each other, that they were dating. But the world seemed to believe so....and maybe rightly so. And Shelly, her best friend, wouldn't believe that Meg and Nick were not together anymore.

"...But Meg, maybe that's why you two were both were so unlike but so very perfect together...complements but still the part of a whole". But even Shelly couldn't do much to change Meg's mind. Nick was gone and probably forever. It wasn't that Meg didn't cry. She did, she sure did. For that one hug from him, she still wished for it. She still wanted it. But maybe the feelings were gone. Her inside told her to forget him and Meg was practical enough to realize the facts. She knew that this was for the better. For she hated being bothered - about the smallest things in life. She hated being questioned. She liked her freedom. She liked Nick but only for what he should have been and not what he always was.

Shelly left. Unable to do much she left Meg by her door and offered any help that Meg would need. Meg didn't need it. She was strong. Or she liked to think so.

Her head spun today..felt heavy. She thought she needed coffee. The next door coffee shop was still open. Being a regular there she just occupied the usual corner. He used to be with her but today she was alone. The coffee shop guy looked at her but had some strange look tonight. She thought about Marc, the office guy who also liked her. She thought about her family..about friends. "Coffee..", said the waiter and put her coffee with a blueberry muffin next to it. She didn't remember ordering it and gave a puzzled look. "On the house!". She felt better....she liked blueberry muffins.

Nick's story

He felt shattered. He still sat there under the chestnut tree where they used to meet..and where they had met today probably for the last time. Was it night already, he wondered. The last time they had fought was a couple of weeks back. He knew it was a small issue..could have been avoided but eventually ended up in a fight. But the last time he knew they would both end up in each others arms...profusely wanting to be together, both sorry for the fight, not blaming - just being.

Nick knew he was weak..maybe not upto the standards of someone like Meg and felt privileged in being around her, being with her.

Today was different. The light of hope seemed to have faded away because Meg had refused to trust him for the first time in their relationship. And he knew he was not imagining things...Meg had told him herself.

He got up and started walking.

He cursed himself. His chest hurt and he didn't know why. Meg had accused him today of behaving like a child and being unable to cope with his attitude. Nick continued walking. He wanted her. He liked her. But maybe the priorities were different for both of them. Nick wanted Meg and knew now he was never going to get her. And Meg? What did she want? "Not me..", he thought.

He found himself outside a glass window for he was used to coming to this place everyday but now he didn't feel like going in. He spotted a familiar face..someone who until yesterday, he called his own. She was sitting at the same table they used to. His face was wet with tears and sweat. He looked at her and knew she was feeling lonely. He motioned to the coffee-shop owner from outside. With a puzzled look at first, the owner realized the lovers' misfortune very soon. Nick pointed towards the blueberry muffins.

He knew they were Meg's favorite...